names

Someone has to know
how I have no chance
at moving forward
away from this sinkhole
'neath my skin

Mountains in the sky
colors bleeding, dying
Greeting the clouds while
hanging from the stars
inside these dreams of
everything I am

oommm

the craziest substance I've ever taken is oxygen
this breath
it feeds me
keeps me blinking
this life
it beats me
keeps me seeking
this world
is outrageous
keeps me thinking

the most insane mindset, is any mindset
what is this thought
where is this thought
the answers I have sought
but the question never caught
my attention
 I just walked
into the sunset
that was waving its goodbyes or its hellos
all a matter of perspective
so I'll say goodnight before I wreck this

sweeping

My pen was a dancin
across the surface of this ocean
just a row boat gettin thrown
from wave to crest
scared to breath
still can't stop this thinking
always creepin
in this conscious stream

to complete
I compete
til I'm beaten
down, deep
down, between
this need to feed
and this desire
to set fire to all this life
and just fly
up into a space
that is up compared to this one
but i will never reach up
it will never be within my fingers
it can only be a there
never will it be here

where

I had fallen
but now I get back up
to dream these days
away

Cloudy Daze

Continue to look
back
at the days
when the leaves were still
falling
            finding
                                      their
                            own
                                                        path
in this
windy w o r l d
 but coming back from the past
to this
now
all these fallen leaves
scattered around this ground
scraping soundwaves
off the pavement
throwing them out
and my ears can't help but plunder
these treasures washing ashore
X
marks the spot
where you thought
you needed your name jotted along the dotted line
  of course you were just trying to
  have your cake and dine on it too
  but now you find yourself confined to
this world and its tight truth
that many consider divine truth
it is usually the unwise who
think they can decide truth
our black holes only let so much light through
such a narrow window
I just hope I got the right view
whatever right is, as if I knew

backwards sdrawrof

The tip of my pen
is the tip of an arrow
on this bow I draw back
as I line up my sights
to see this ink
fly across this page's sky
strips of blue striking through
these columns of clouds
my ink
a starless night
breaking through this sky
to come look for all of its
fallen stars

line

I may be all thumbs

but I've got them all pointing up
to this sky
that doesn't even know
how much happiness it contains
in this bowl
the embers that slowly die
inside this black
smokey clouds covering my eyes
from the stars so high
so far away from this life
that has so much more worth
when its my feet that walk upon this dirt
selfish I am
not here to be perfect
not that I had a choice
but if I did
I'd give it to you
because I've never been good at decisions
and I haven't given you much
so I feel like starting somewhere

anywhere is the right place to start
mostly because no where is the right place to start
so may as well just begin your part
before it ends and leaves you out in the dark

I am

a variation
another genetic mutation
another chump that made it to graduation
a perspective
a mindset
that's so indecisive
trying to make it through
all this life they try to make me live
whoever they are
maybe this is to them
Hi, how is the rotation treatin ya?
I'm still gettin use to this dizzyness
the world gives
for me to hold
deep inside this dust
the world gave me
to create this page
but what seems like a favor
will have me enslaved
to the natural way
so I'll return this dust
from beyond my grave

this body is a rental
and I'm a little late
on my payments
so I treat today
like it's my favorite
I'm still scroungin for some change
to hold on til at least tomorrow

Church

used to be an idea

free love, for everyone

now it costs an uncomfortable outfit and your sunday morning

you better sing

or God won't know that you care

and I'm not going to add to this spare change bucket

they pass along like some Mr. Clean magic eraser

making them content in their sin

self righteous ass clowns make me cringe

now I still love them, see they are just tryin to build a hinge

into this wall to open up that door

it's unfortunate though 

how being nice seems like a chore

to them

life is just a bore til we sip them drinks we pour

giving us the need to adore a simple whore 

but

she is another sister

that you fucked

adding another blister

to the callouses around your heart

touch smell taste see

night time
is my write time
to make these words
brighten lines
into exciting signs
of works, greater than I could imagine
with my small mind

not very often can you hear silence
you can hear it before the beginning and after the end
but it's the in between
that's hard to make this sense of

energy

Every moment is in a new space
the earth is moving along this ellipse
inside this solar machine
that is floating out
drifting through this lonely black
taking the darkness
and
giving it some warmth,
exposing the empty with this light
and
leaving it full of this dust
that matters so much more
when it has a thought to think

trying to think of this title

seeping
through the walls
these words assault your mind
to keep you out of this loop
I slowly create with this ink
to burn up and feel the ashes fall down
beyond these clocks

today doesn't end just because tomorrow started
and yesterday never really ended
it just sort of faded into dream
that we look at like some dusty picture we found in the attic
rewinding trying to remind me of what's behind me
but the past has passed so just let time be

cheers

Everything has a reason
and it might not always be a deep one
and it might not always appear too easy
but you will always find some tiny benefit
inside all this world's bullshit
that it wraps up in pretty little boxes
to throw at you, adding on to all these problems
and it might be a while til you solve them

but

don't let your chin fall
just lift up your spirits
as I propose this toast:
what I want to say most
is that we all have a purpose
and maybe mine is to remind you
that you are
wonderful

prepositional

over and under
but never in between
the barrier has been built
you can cross it
or stay
and toe nail this line
to hang up these banners, these ink stains
strewn across this wall

as you travel through these pen's strokes
you can collect the meaning of this all, one cloud of consciousness after the other
to put in your basket case, condensed and contemplated
collapsed and concentrated
corralled and comprehended
convinced and captivated
by these words I just created
to take your brain and invade
until your mind is mine to play with
but it's overrated
and I'm beginning to hate this
riding along
writing this song
though its more just a pond
of these words I have drawn
together from these streams
to sit together in some peace

On a thought train, in this moonlight rain

walking along the light striped sidewalks
passing living room window snapshots
from these movies being lived out one present rolling over and over

Sam I am

just a snapshot in someone's movie
just a nother name on this dying cast
just a simple sitter, sittin in this seat
just a waitin for the credits
just ta see myself rise up beyond the dark

Insanity

repeating an action over and over expecting a different outcome

and girl the thought of life without you is drivin me crazy
so I'll try on this insane
chasing your embrace til my grave
I just want to hold you at four in the morning watching infomercials
making fun of these scripted dicks that think they are pimpin

but   really I just want to hold you at any time watching anything

so

I'll be on this grind until I find this finish line
where you are either mine, or I am no longer alive
either way I'll be closer to the divine

I get so close to catching you in my butterfly net
but I never learned how to patch these holes
so you take the wind and my horizon with you

while I just stand here swallowing this storm you left behind

entry

trying to slow down
these lightning strikes
establishing roots in this world
as if to anchor this row boat
in this sea of dead ends

rather start counting up
and wait
for the crashing waves of thunder

button desert

This word
could be so many others
but somehow
it managed to survive
beyond these times
and through these spaces
to end up right here
waving at you with the colors
leftover from its lightwave feast

just trying to speak to you
maybe give you a penny or two
tryin to find an excuse
to keep on wavin at you
cuz you are all these words need to feel alive
to be alive
for a moment or two, while you surge life through these corridors
of surgical scribbles, saying less than they want to be
being less than they ought to be
possibly
I'm just lost in these

Just sittin

tryin to break this ice
as best I can
throwing these
Helium-filled balloons
until I run out of gas
and have to lean on this cold wall
that I built up myself

these, are words

if I had it
then I lost it
and if I've lost it
then I'm barely lookin for it
I feel like you won't fully find it
until you stop worrying about where it's been
and just knowing that if it's it, it will come along
again

a not her

word
forming
at the brim
of this inkwell
dripping down
through this page
up into your waiting brain
absorbing these wisps
of lightless meaningful loops and swirls
though the meaning only extends so far
plenty of members of the same species don't even see anything in these scribbles, so sometimes I have a hard time staying invested in these words we use to try to make sense of this place

words outlining the shadow of this idea

Their eyes enticing
I inch forward towards the light
shedding this silence
that my mind compiles
the longer I've been hidin' in these sheets
   blue line after blue cut and bleeding this prison along the edges
   creating a box to keep our thoughts contained
 
but as easy as the breeze
back I go, avoiding them
like a child
running from waves at the beach
chasing the ebb and flow

hopscotch on the rocks

broken

bottles

hopping

around

these

gutters

in the

windy

streets

dirt devils

wreaking havoc

on us lemonade stand standers

just tryin to get some change

to fill up this cup

without asking for more of life's lemons

to be

I am a pioneer

and I know I'm not

but it makes it easier to bear if you just let me believe it

I know I'm not gonna be trail blazin

so I take on these trails blazin

lost in these clouds, I let the sky abduct me every now and then

cuz the sky is never worried about the how or the when

it's just tryin to be someone's horizon

hap

words are here
so deal with it
I'm stealing these blanks
replacing them with this black space
infiltrating your conscious waves
fading
back
beyond
these simple marks upon this page

in your eyes

this earth is round
a shape with no sides
infinitely no sides
and every day we get to see
our small glimpse of infinity
when we lift our eyes

we get a small piece of the puzzle
and a new one is comin up
as this breeze guides this present along
making room for the next current
that will move through this loop
of time and space and this feeling
that it's all just
chasing

the



wind

jungle gym

These words
I don't know
so go ahead
and realize
that you are
reading these exact words
again, I've just found a new pattern
to weave them into

it's not the individual words you use
it's how they get along with the words around them

just children on a playground

leaf

falling
down into
the waiting ground
and all that's fallen

soluble

there are words
not visible to the eye
but felt by your mind
they speak
as they bridge the gap
between these definitions

I think therefore I thought

I don't do
I think
and I still don't know which would be better
So all I do is let these pages keep me from thinking

falling start

words stalling
do you feel alright?
I've seen the dark side of these falling stars and they don't look like they don't look like they don't look like they want to grant your wishes
so best ya start washin them dishes
everyone starts somewhere and its never at the finish
you got to take care of your business
and I doubt I'm the first to tell you this
but maybe this will be the first time you listen and apply
instead of the usual cringe and roll of your eyes
watching the lecture pass through out the other side
maybe go out and fix someone else's problems
like they just want to make it all better

but clumsy me stumblin through this life
makin a bigger mess of all this chaos thrown my way
I'd swear I'd kill myself if I knew who that was
so I'll live this life figuring that out within these puddles of words
that could only reflect who I was
the light bouncing out into my eyes is behind my present ever so
slightly
so the only me I'll ever see is a little bit tardy
and he has been tryin so hard see, but he will just never make it
cuz everything I am is just barely not enough
so I'll keep trying to fool you with this bluff
lies can turn to truth with the right practice
so I keep telling myself I have reason to exist
but lately I've been feelin like pleadin the fifth
and stayin silent, but these words, they try and fix this
by yelling quietly from within these lines
sometimes I feel I'm only here to keep them from going overboard
pullin damage control, running around with my mop bucket
just tryin to catch a buck it can get hard but I must pluck at the wind
searching for some worth
in these eyes that get away

and they don't leave without leaving behind some weight
like sand in my shoes I will never get all this out
just breaking me down so I can build me up
with these broken dreams collecting as dust
into these dusty mountains that cover the sun at dusk
a sunset I could only see in these dreams that taste so sweet
and my selfish eyes stay shut
keeping the main course for themselves
while I'm drowning in these sheets
of ink stained white
empty pages
f l e e t i n g

finish this one for me

I'm just scribbling these letters

writing about nothing

thinking about something

hopin it will trickle down

before I relinquish the sound

and drown these thoughts in a puddle of this ink

finally some silence 

not much can keep my mind quiet

a nice pen and paper to take this riot

and try to write it out on these white sheets

and I got no white out, my mistakes are here to stay

maybe pick up a lesson and some spare change

you've got to let the small things build you up
just in case the big things try to knock you down
and when the small things keep you down
best go big and build it for yourself

bite this thumb
crawl before you run
climb before you jump
look within before you judge
open up before you shun
die so that you may be risen
through Jesus
my only reason to keep this heart beating
but it breaks me to see him
in the streets
begging for change, but only getting the same
loving them and only receiving hate
the stones may be a metaphor these days
but they throw them all the same
casting shadows in the shape of rain clouds blocking my sun's rays

view

seems I slept into this feeling of too many dreams and/or realities
see this could only be real for now
then is only in my memory
thus merely a figment of my imagination
this could be only real for now
so I unite these letters into some words I could spare to lose in this sea of chaos
slowly sliding through these slimy syllables
slipping past your silent stare, simply saying some silly similes
as somber as a single snail soaring through thickets of thorns
but don't be fooled into thinking that this thing will thizzle out
I've still got ink in my pen
I will keep coming with these words
so better clear out your mind, these lines are going to make a mess
once they finally end themselves in a living room hanging from the ceiling fan
and I will be left to fend for myself with nothing left to right and everything wrong to write
and this is honestly quite possibly the most awesome thing I could promise thee
an end, a clear finale to these messy blurbs and maybe if you ask nicely
I'll stop writing this shit and go contemplate tomorrow's fate
because before I knew it, today had already gifted its pain away
to the next 24 hours and the moments in between
that bear the burden of this reality
holding
breathing
reaching
for an end
so here it is
the end

to dust we shall return

I will never be adequate
I'm a subject without a predicate
I am a run on sentence in the middle of a rain dance
the clouds come to parade through my rainy day
so I sit and watch the chaos run its course
stretching itself thin
into an end we would have seen if we hadn't been looking so hard
from dust we began and to dust we shall return to finally rest
above or below, it's all relative
just stop embellishing
and thinking that you are better than
any of us broken models
searching for some spare parts
to patch up these broken hearts
nobody knows what it means to be complete
but we bite and we scream
until we make real what we dream
competing til all our steam has been depleted
fighting til our dreams are all we know
in that endless sleep, hoping to be sheep
not just to be a follower, but to have that shepherd
keep me safe from these beasts and
these cold nights that drown out the alarm clock's screech
trying to bring back the sun, one lonely cry after another
just a mime, pulling this invisible rope
anything can be real if you believe in it enough
like love underneath the bleachers
or making all this more seem more like less
filling up these holes with emptiness
hoping that maybe this time we won't notice
and just keep livin happily within this ignorance
watching this shit through a filter
and I'm tryin to avoid havin children
cuz I can't bring more life into this ill mess
and these women leave me chasin the wind
holdin my breath so that you can't take it away

normal days

Everyone is insane, we just got our different symptoms
and we all got our own way to try and fix them
again and again we rise and we fall
chasing that bouncing ball, hopping along these syllables
in this sing along they keep trying to get us to live.
we will not sing your songs, I will not be kept from being myself
I skip along this path to my own beat, and no one can take this tune from me
we do not fit into these roles, these little boxes they try to cram us in to
we are fireworks that light up the sky at noon, you will not snuff us out
 Here I am again thinking through this ink
keeping my mind stuck to this page, trying to drown this moment in these lines
killing this time with these scribbled words
but these words are not mine
I did not write them
my pen did
I did not read them
you did
I did not inspire them
He did
these words are not mine
so I shall not treat them as such
here take them, they are for you
I didn't want to hold on to them anyway
these nouns and verbs can get heavy

thoughts stuck in this ink

Tuning into the resonations of these ancient echos
vibrating this future into what is and has been this whole past
we've been trudging through one present at a time

Lord
you are my everything
you are my nothing
you are there when I need you
you are there when I don't want you
I could have beaten your back with your cross and you would still love me
I deserve to be beaten by your cross but you turned your cheek to take the thrashing
you took my punishment and gave me life
with you, for this present, that never ends
ever-moving forward
we will never get to a future because it has already passed us on the left
while we were looking to be right

every single shot provoking more thoughts
spelled out in these ink blots
to show you who you are
pending on what you see
what you read and perceive
all these words stuck in these lines
breaking free through your eyes
breaking free of these paradigms
seeking the answer but only finding more questions
perhaps there is no answer
only more questions to toy with your mind
to make you think there is an answer
but what you fail to see, with these questions blinding you,
is the beauty your eyes can't help but absorb
the sweet sounds your ears can not keep out
the delicate touches your skin does not know how to ignore
no matter how hard we try to avoid it, this world is here for us to experience
so stop trying to dissect it and live for once

To do list

Essay
Math
Look at the path before you forget how to take a step
Freshen breath
Learn how to fly
Don't try to act too sly
Remember that you could die
There is no reason to deny
It would be as easy as a sigh
So today I will try to be alive
Cuz tomorrow will never be ripe
And yesterday keeps falling behind
Now in the AM it's already 2:59
And I still can't feel the time
Hopefully by seven I'll be able to rise
Losing sleep just to make something rhyme
I think this is where I have lost my mind
That may have been a predictable line
So I think this is where an ending I will find
Though I still find the need to write

A new minute and I decided to change this up
That flow had lost its spunk
I will attempt to make this one erupt
So some slack for me could you please cut
Cuz I will never be good enough
To write something that's not ridiculous
A line may sound good if I come across some luck
But its all crazy psycho babble until it earns me a buck
Or two for that matter, this world really does suck
It seems only money can put you above
But what we all need is some peace and some love
Not shiny new stuff
I promise it's not too tough
All you got to do is put down that mask that looks so rough
And let your self shine through all that is corrupt

who is

missing who is
lifting who is
giving who is
knowing who is
owing who is
sifting through the
drifted
who is molding
who is holding
who is rowing
this boat that's
been roaming smooth coastal oceans
who is changing
who is saving
you from your dwindling faith
who is betraying
who is enslaved to
the easy way, the natural course of least resistance
 to live as what you bid for, casting lots to make it big once,
to ease this existence, and making sure to ignore
any possible assistance, from He who seems forgotten
made virtual by speaking of Him as some far off constellation
that is a meager projection of His true love and protection
for the whole of his creation
now you can sit here and try to play dumb
but I know that you picked up my diction
so you can put it down or smooth yourself out with this friction
either way I hope you enjoyed this twisted script of my affliction

This is to you

to you, the girl that laughs at my jokes when I'm sleeping
the girl I can approach when I'm dreaming
the girl I talk to without ever speaking
tiny little conversations when our eyes meet
and the moment they lock in I am peaking
on this high that your silent stare increases
so I look away before I start seeking
hope that your gaze will be mine for the keeping
I would walk up but my confidence is leaking
as if my pants I were peeing
I just want to know what you're thinking
but, I know that is not something I will recieve
so I live with this doubt, walking with it in my shoes
cuz I feel pretty sure that I'm just another pair of eyes from across the room
bleeding out these pleading messages that maybe today will contain the moment
that brings us together. Though I have this inkling that is silently saying maybe this fixation could become mutual, if I wasn't so obsessed with getting your affection, spending every chance setting my attention on your direction
Then I realize, I'm still writing about her, I just give her a new name and face to trick myself into thinking I'm over her, but I am most definitely still under her spell that's so lovely and smells of pungent flowers tired of the ground, slowly reaching around to find up and the sky within, which is no more than an idea, for what is up to me could be down to thee and the white I see could be anything to ye, such infinite possibilities to how we perceive this world we make real within our imagination
please come watch with me as the sun setting behind these mountains ranges makes the sky look like ripped pages out of the story I've been painting on the horizon

again and again

You are staring into my present and your past, as I am writing this I am sending out these written shadows to one day get absorbed by the worm holes through your eyes to your universe. While for you it is today, I'm back here sending these words out in groups for your mind to unpack, just as the stars in the sky are sending a light from the past casting shadows in this future: when you are staring at the night sky your mind is stuck in the past but when you stare into this, the past is stuck in your mind.

Ask me now and later I still won’t have an answer because I am forever cursed to walk the path of a fool this folly at my shoulder keeps me company and my fear of my Lord keeps me on my knees I hope that one day I may find Him as he has found me, soon you will all see that these days are only started so that they may end, just as a meal is only created to be devoured by the ravenous crows that wait on the power lines for your heart to slip so they may pounce and keep you from the life everyone is seeking whether they realize it or not we are all just searching for the same love, but we won’t ever see that love is searching for us, we just need to stop hiding from ourselves.

Fix me, please just find a way to fix me, for I was never put together, I showed up in this world disassembled and I've been laying it all out for you to see, so please put me together in the moon's shine and watch me light up with the sun's rise

Ode to the snooze button

Oh what a wonderful button that I keep pluckin cuz I'm stuck in this dungeon of comfort
I know I'll be late, but that's my fate, this sleep is too great and I only have myself to blame for staying awake long into the A.M. so now I keep hatin on that screech that shakes me from my dreams and I irately strain as much weight as I can attain to sink that button down into silence, finally that wretched noise has been detained.
Today is losin' cuz I keep choosin to abuse that splendid snooze, I wish time would slow to an ooze but it's runnin faster than an Olympian that was juiced, time is gettin killed, hanging from a noose, waking up this early was all a ruse, last night I drank too much and had confidence that I wouldn't let the snooze accrue all these sloppy clicks, but this game was fixed I had no chance and now my BiC has no more ink to stitch more diction into this picture of words, so I'm gonna ditch this bitch but before I go I must say thank you snooze button, for existing

letter's formed into words

Sometimes, I like to imagine that you think about what you are about to say to me as much as I think about what I am going to say to you and sometimes, I like to imagine how it would feel to see the sunrise trickle down your body after it raced here just to be with you, other times I like to imagine a world in which I stop daydreaming and start living this out in your arms, then I remember the way my speech buckles when I put too much stress on it and I go back to my daydreams because these night times are getting harder to put to rest with you keeping my mind so preoccupied. Though most of the time I'm just lookin into this trying to add another line or two, silently soaring through these letters and all the weight they leave behind, quietly displacing this white with this absence of light to fill up your sight and make your thoughts spell this out, word by word I am sneaking into your eyes fighting for the focus of your fragile attention.
Are you there? Sometimes I wonder this, and then I tell myself "Stop staring at that lady's feet" and sort of shake my head and blink to make it seem like I was just in deep thought and not creepin on someone that I will not make eye contact with ever again. Wherever I was going with that, here I am and I am still just busy behind these paragraphs, that began with no purpose, not even to present these pointless phrases: it will never be possible for me to ever bind to any plan for today is not about to go your way and your maps are already eroding into obsolete, the river doesn't know what direction it will be flowin, it just goes with where it's goin, and it still always manages to get to where it's most at home.

happens word

Follow me as I dive down far beneath
any of you fools that always seem to think
that your all of your words are actually deep
I look up at you and the incline is fairly steep
I can tell that what you say is pretty cheap
All that your words do is put me half to sleep
The others like them, but they are just sheep
Doing their best to fit in and feel complete
Though I'd rather not just sit here blowin' off steam
I don't need to be crushing anyone's dreams
Mostly because tomorrow is nowhere near guaranteed
and if you let it, today can slow to a creep
for now, I have some words that will slowly seep
Deep within your mind I will plant this seed
I write these words for me, for you there is no fee
Cherish this all cuz few things in life are free
Now here it is, if you would carefully read:
He gave us salvation even though we proved unworthy
He loves you dearly, all you must do is semi-blindly believe
This world does its best to keep you from the dream
We can always see, but we don't always perceive
That through God there is nothing you can't achieve
Screw instant gratification, I would rather be happy for eternity
This smile's on my face even if you can't always see
Nothing can bring me down, knowing that He wants me
You might miss me a little but I really must leave
You see I am a bird, I'll go where I can live most comfortably
Which is usually in the shade underneath a willow tree
Where the leaves look like tears succumbing to gravity
Now on the final line, I will say to you please be filled with peace

titled

Holy is His presence
it fills me with such patience
makes me soar passed mountain ranges
this feeling is the strangest
From Him I get so much inspiration
I have to ink up all these pages
so that my mind doesn't go crazy
He sends me so many thoughts
the least I can do is jot
it down before it's lost
to the wind, I've got these two limbs
so I ought to praise Him
and how He bought my sin
and saw that it was La Fin
so that I could see that his light is never dim
and it's easy to spread
just need to show some kindness
maybe let some love refresh
the many that forget they are blessed
and intended for this great endeavor
into His open arms and far beyond
up there where they truly belong
chillin' outside the limits of a clock
but it's time to send this block of words down into an end that somehow concludes that which has no conclusion, this poem is done I hope you had fun, now I'm gonna hit publish perhaps you won't shun this and maybe you could even fall in love with all these dumb words but chances are humble to none

train tracks

I wonder why so many people like to talk to their mirror
They are talking to an inanimate object that has no ears
Or they are talking to themselves, which in public would be queer
When I'm looking at a mirror I'm brushing my teeth making them clear
I don't really have anything to say that I even slightly want to hear
So if I'm lookin at myself its barely even with a leer
Besides I'd rather move on with this day the 24th hour is fairly near
Perhaps though, I don't talk to my mirror cuz I'm busy talkin in here
I swear its not a diary I don't ever start out with a Dear,
Let's see what happens when I turn this book into my mirror:

Good job on waking up today, now fill your heart up with some cheer
I don't have much for you, but don't let it show to your peers
Keep that grin shinin no matter who is walkin by
Cuz you know that all they require is a simple smile
Shallow as a plastic kiddie pool, filled with a sand pile
The truth can set you free so they've been confined for quite a while
Within this sad cage full of lies and matching tile
They just worried about this next season's brand-new-old-ass style

If only they would notice this moment

and let it fill their mouths with smiles

It's really lame but so obvious that they are really in denial
That all they are looking for is the person to walk down the aisle
But the idea of marriage in the minds of this generation has been defiled
What used to be running a marathon is now like walking a quarter mile
You can get divorced as quick as you can pick up a phone and dial
All I know is that when I tell my kids about how I met my wife
I hope I can say that it wasn't something that happened overnight
I also hope I'm not talking to them while being supervised
Rather tell them while she is sittin next to me holdin me tight.


I get lost in my own words sometimes
So if I woke up and talked to my mirror I'd never get to school on time
And I'm sorry if you've been readin this, cuz its just a waste of time
I wonder how many more times I can try to rhyme time with time
You see each time is a new one, so there is no way to say that this time
Is exactly the same as this one, and all this time I've been trying to save up on time
I opened up a savings account, but my bank loaned out all my time
Now I am looking under my couch seats for some spare time
Cuz I spent my last minute to write this last line

uhm

I feel like a lot of people talk about God like he isn't present
But I promise you there has never been a day that He was absent
And He's got no plans to become a truant
So stop tryin to mark God as not here
Let it become more personal, we are sort of His career
His unconditional love is as present as that kid we all thought was weird
Can you not feel Him, sitting behind you reading as he strokes his beard?
He is even at my finger tips typing this message to you
Yes you, every single one of you, not just you, don't be a Jew
This love is for everyone, I know this to be true
I'd write more lines, but that's all I really knew
I know I am just as shallow as the next one but please don't sue
I don't really have much money, so I guess you could take my shoes
Now I am more than certain that this poem is through
But I don't like to call it a poem, I don't want to insult those who
Actually write something with more worth than a dented can of soup
I'm shooting, but I can't get it any where near that hoop
Practice makes perfect, but perfection won't be found within time's noose
Only in The Holy One, if you love with Him your time could become a loop
attached to another loop in this never ending sideways 8 that makes my brain feel like poop
If you can grasp infinity, then you are on the right path to understand the good news

like grasping sand

I haven't been hungry since you walked out my heart, but that's implying that you left it behind, it grabbed your ankles and you dragged it out with you, but it crawled back and sometimes I feel like slitting my wrists to let out all this extra blood that my heart has been pumping since you got it all worked up, but don't worry I won't be driven to the bottom of a rope, taking my life would not be a good punchline for this joke I've been livin, I don't want to be found lying next to a note, I would rather live a life worth a great toast, I hope when I finally pass that people will not be morose, they should only move on, that is what I want most. Now I'm just taking on these days one at a time I don't have the motivation to care about tomorrow yet, making plans is like trying to build a sand castle without any water
I don't see why you'd ever bother
There is someone out there for me but I guess it's not her
the way she's got me feeling I could easily rot here
I swear it was right, forever was so near
but now I don't know what to think when I look in a mirror
I could turn all this heartbreak into a career
I think of all the future lonely years and I get filled with fear
but it's easier to bear with when I have God above
watchin' out for me and holdin me snug
He is easy to follow if you see He is just spreadin the love
and of his love and presence I just can't get enough
When I've got the Lord on my side I feel a lot more tough
Even when I'm walkin alone I'm still walkin with Jesus

tangents and cosines

How easy it seemed to undress her
I guess I actually impressed her
She had been taught her whole life she was less than dirt
And when I told her the truth, that her beauty was the best, she turned
Negative because she could never look in that mirror without finding
something to detest first
She thinks I just said these things in jest to flirt
But this was never about the contest, or just to take off her shirt
I found a beauty that doesn't just outshine the rest
It fills the world around it with meaning and worth
And all we did was create a playful mess
But I never could have imagined how much that mess hurt
You don't know what you got 'til it's kissing you goodbye
And I hugged her tight so she wouldn't see me cry
Been a long time since a tear has dropped from my eye
Though she can't know she hurt me, so my eyes I quickly wipe
Just got to be that resilient guy
The one you will see full of laughter and smiles
And it's always the same look of surprise
When they find out that I'm unbelievably shy

ascending-meter

Once
I jumped
Off this ledge
The clouds stood still
I fell quite slowly
Into the yellow sun
So full of blinding colors
I looked back to where my home was
To avoid the painful burning waves
And I saw a sight way too hard to bare
The world looking back at me with so much cheer
While getting closer with every little moment
Each tiny speck of dirt becoming way too clear
I finally felt what it feels like when death draws near
A feeling I could spend a thousand lifetimes avoiding
But it only takes a single lifetime to mess this all up
Hell it only takes a puny second to ruin all of this
So spend each minute like it's the best sixty lifetimes you ever lived
And please don't forget to leave the rest of us with a smile in our minds
Because this world can get rough, and we need each other to smooth it out nice
If you would be my sandpaper then we can see where the rest of this takes us
Just please don't leave me hanging, cuz this rope will eventually rub my neck raw
This world's askew tilt knocked over the chair, now my toes are barely scratching up the floor
I will now leave this world just as I arrived; kicking and grasping for some form of comfort,
For twenty-three syllables I'll say; supercalifragilistiqexbialidotious
I guess that signifies the end of this attempt at a new format, now it is your turn to try
I'll write twenty-five syllables to tell you that none of this is hard, it's all inside your worried mind

A big haiuku full of haiukus 5 - 7 - 5

Headaches and heartbreak                    My eyes don't see the same                     Slowly yet surely               
Just part of these withdrawals              Since your eyes don't come around          They will scatter with the wind    
From making you smile                       To feed and water                                     Finally they're free           
                                       

From this pain I hold                                 But the sun rises
With white knuckles, grasping for              And darkness is swept away
Whatever we had                                      As will this feeling                                                                

--

                                       

A new day to stop                            For each beginning                And more shall come to        A leaky faucet
The sun from collapsing down          A beautiful end follows           Gradually fill this life            Keeping us from staying dry
But only in vain                               To make room for more          One day at a time                Filling to the brim


Half empty or full                          Of this barrel that                        I'm still pondering                  
Just be happy that you aren't          Holds so much of this for us        I don't expect an answer
Scraping the bottom                      Whatever this is                          But I'll keep searching


--

                                  

This journey we take               You can enjoy it                    And the meaning is                       Could keep your eyes closed,
Whether willing or coerced       Or you can drag your feet      Playing hide and seek with you       Wait for this game's finale
To find the finish                     Regardless, you're here         So best stop counting,                   Or open this book            


Start writing your piece  
And appreciate this place
With your eyes glued wide

Post title

When I give you my heart I know that I'm never getting it back. You can either keep it forever or throw it in the trash, cuz it won't fit the same after you squeezed it tight, I keep a small piece for myself each time so that I won't lose the whole thing rotting in a landfill, I've only got a sliver left so be gentle and don't be surprised when it cracks.
I send my love out for you to collect it
and fuck any of those  who don't accept it
cuz it was especially for them, they need it more than they recognize
this world is pretty shitty like septic
and I know I'm not sittin here bein skeptic
People walk around focusin on shiny necklaces
thinking of all the things they could be eatin for breakfast
am I the only one here that questions this?
I mean there are people that would eat from my wastebasket
and we just waste away as we are chasin that casket
Doing no harm, but doing no good, makes me want to wear a mask it
fills me with shame to be a part of this helplessly hopeless generation
someone just got murdered right now and all we can worry about is inflation
I include myself because all I am doing is saying worthless words that cause no salvation
Filling up my cup instead of pouring it out for the rest, I am surely walking towards damnation
I'll just stop typing so that I can salvage some favor with God and prevent my extermination

I don't really know man

I have a couple words for you, but you have to promise to keep them safe, they really are quite fragile and if you don't take care of them they could easily fall apart. So please don't take these letters for granted because they aren't taking your mind for granted and I'm sure that if you let them be themselves you would get along with them quite well:
We call them all trees but each one has its own thang going on, its own groove, its motion to keep up with this earth that can't sit still, its own sway to stay with this ever-melding life.
So long Wednesday, your treacherous fourteen hundred forty minutes have finally passed, but they will be back, week after week, month after month, year after year. We have turned this forward motion into something that we can fit into our minds, but I don't like to give this 360 degree spin and the full rotation of the next "Wednesday" the same name, every day is amazingly new, I fail to see how we could call them the same thing, each day holds new experiences, a new space in this universe, new light waves washing up from our yellow beach ball that we got stuck in the rafters, that was a wild night, I think it was a Thursday, but it is just about to be Thursday and I'm not feelin' too wild. So I say forget your frivolous attempts to put a pattern over this world, the entropic breakdown of every moment is not something you can track but merely observe and appreciate, so no it is not Wednesday, it is a point in space in which I wasted my time writing this blurb. I am done going along with the way things are, just because some atoms happened to form into this person that decided to live life with 7 days to a week we lock these rotations around our axis into the prison cell of a title. I say nay to your traditions, you can not bring yesterday's routine into today for today is a new variable that they didn't even know about yesterday.

I did write it though

I did not write this to get a page view
I did not write this to get a +1 from you
I did not write this for the money
I did not write this just to be funny
I sort of wrote this just to write this
I sort of wrote this to find my bliss
I did not write this because I need attention
I sort of wrote this cuz i could never pay attention
I sort of wrote this cuz the withdrawals make me
Every minute away from a pen and paper forsake me
I wrote this because I don't know how to speak this
I sort of wrote this because I wanted to see it
Written out in lines, arranged for my convenience
I sort of wrote this because I'm getting proud of my two cents
I really wrote this because I don't want to go out there
Rather sit in my room keeping these white pages from being bare
I never really work well with society
I'm always stuck inside of me
My mind can go on for days
Entertaining itself, maybe I'm crazy
But at least I can accept this insanity
Most deny and perpetuate their vanity
I know that I'll never be a very good writer
But I did not write this to impress you
I merely wrote this because I had a pen in my hand
I made it rhyme because my mind keeps finding these words
But I don't need to rhyme to get this fix from these little blurbs
Scratching this ink into this paper to calm the urges
An addiction that I can't go to a group for
I guess I'll just write some more

not good at putting titles to things

Time to finally let this out
because I'm tired of holding it in
and I know the world can
take it better than I can, it has
been spinning a lot longer than I
can even comprehend and no matter
what hits it this world will keep
going, so I let the world feel
the weight of my feet, I don't
let  the world's weight rest on me,
because I'm not here to keep
it spinning, I'm a walking probability,
I'm just an equation
gone horribly wrong and now I'm
gonna watch the numbers
try to balance each other

Will this mean anything
once we all get burnt
out?

The world is doin its
best to spin us off and
the universe is doin its
best to squish us while
we are doin our best
to be the best,
even if it means killing as
many of us as possible to
keep our names highlighted in the
history books, so I will never stop
thanking God for waking up, cuz it seems
that there is a lot more out
there trying to stop me from
livin this life than there are particles
of oxygen being sucked into my lungs
it's me against numbers I never
learned how to count to and
I'm still going to bet on myself
because I need all the confidence I
can get
  all I know is that you
can't spell life without at least
one lie so I'm going to live
this truth to the fullest and hope
to God that when this world evicts
me, I still have a place to crash
tonight

my pen slipped

I'm going to eject this thought out into the air where it meets your silent stare, to get processed underneath your hair, your opinion you might share, I just hope you took the time to care, and aren't speaking just so that this moment wasn't bare: 
I'm on the outside looking outwards as these thoughts invade the space I reserved for this page and now as you read your mind is opening the door to this crazy that I'm laying out in nice little rows.  This night time can get heavy, sometimes all I need is a candle to lighten it up, so I'm burning this wick, watching time drip down the sides frozen in the moment. I think I prefer these moments of frozen silence by myself, undone by the golden sun, that wakes up these noisy lumps of carbon, shake me from my dreams when the moon isn't outshone by that big ball of burning bright and the stars finally get to shine so I can spend all night putting this silence back together, though, just as the setting sun brings a sunrise, this silence will be broken, a cycle I have grown addicted to. Just more words I will never say out loud, so many cross through this processor someone put in my head, but so few thoughts get processed into a language so many understand, stuck floating, intangible as this next thing I won't write 

p.s.

I did quite the job at messing this up bad

I’ve got no chance of getting her back

Now all I can think of is all the times she made me glad

If I could take her smile I’d keep it in a bag

Too take out and stare at when life was being a drag

And I’m the only one to blame for being this sad

I failed and threw our love into the trash

I never realized what a wonderful girl I had

And now all I can do is sing about being a bastard

Cuz I took our happiness and sent it down some rapids

Battered and bruised, alone here I stand

I lost her in the fray, we didn’t stick to the plan

Maybe if I had used something more permanent than crayons

I could be writing about a completely different past

But this life doesn’t give you many chances

So I take what I get and rejoice at the advances

Even if sometimes it knocks me on my pants

Just got to let it out in one of these rants

And keep happy no matter the circumstances

Hoping that my smile doesn’t die and turn to ashes

Like the last of a stoner’s stash

Or a chronic gambler’s cash

Rather I’d like to make my cheeks splash

As my lips dive up into a delicious laugh

May as well focus on the present until it passes

There it goes did you see it ooze by like molasses?

Collecting dust as into the past it is added

Or did it zoom by, leaving way too fast?

Avoiding today as into yesterday it dashes

I try to keep time slow so I can appreciate each little patch

Letting it speed up makes each moment harder to catch

So I lower the tempo by lounging in some grass

Instead of using blinkers as metronomes as my car burns gas

Burning these seconds into minutes as I’m backed up in traffic

And burning these nights into weeks as I’m back to that flask

As these weeks burn to months I feel more and more plastic

Faking this social to keep them from asking

So many questions that have no chance of grasping

Any real answer from my stupid ass mouth that’s flapping

My mind is like cupped hands trying to hold on to water

the water is the thoughts slipping through the cracks,

dripping onto this page as if my hands weren't even

there to stop any of this

And there it goes, did you catch it?

My thoughts just jumped into your mind, it was pretty

fast, but they went through your eyes so you must

have seen it, well maybe my next couple words

will make it more lucid, like anyone's mind yours

is able to be bent, like right now I am making you

say this in your head, well you have a choice, but

I am influencing your decision by putting this all in

front of you, so all I would like to say now is that

you forgot to use your own words to read this,

maybe if you would, this could all be complete

Light at the beginning of the tunnel

If you would like to hear some lyrics that come from my career of battlin my mirror, I'm sorry I would rather drink some beer, uhm I mean liquor give me that clear stuff fill up my peer's cup so we can drink til the nearest sun comes up for us to feel its endearing love. This will be a year unlike the rest, I won't say it's gonna be the best cuz this isn't a contest and I can't predict the years left, but I can reject all the bullshit you try to inject into this 365 day project I started with zest and I will protect it from your infestation. The game started but I didn't place a bet, so the outcome is not an object on which I will spend my attention, so let's just forget for a second that our date is set and collect all these moments, put them in my pocket and save them for a rainy day, when we can't go outside to play and the wrinkles hide your face, we will be so close to finishing this race, but I like to think of it as a lazy stroll, I am not running towards being old, until then I'll just be absorbin' this tired as I watch these nights crawl by, flippin' pennies to spread some luck, stackin' quarters to see if I have enough, this belly is a rumblin' and I ain't got paid in months, this smile is on my face and it's not a bluff, I know my life isn't even that tough, at least I got atmosphere fillin' up my lungs, while I got some Atmosphere bouncin' off my ear drums, could never get enough of that man we call Slug.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

I feel like everyone is always trying to sound deep and wise by defining love. And I know I’m just trying to sound deeper and wiser, but I don’t think words are enough to describe this feeling, this undefinable connection cannot be written within a single poem or song, nor can it be measured by mere actions, it is only something to be felt in the moment between your eyes where they meet in the middle to explode into far beyond this warm sloppy joy, a comfort that lets you unload your mess. Now don’t let me fool you, I haven’t the slightest clue what love is at its truest, I just know that since I cannot define the love I experience there is no way that anyone else could describe it for me.

You can show me all of the lakes and streams

All of the mountain ranges full of trees

All of the sunsets falling with such ease

Even all of the moonlit oceans rippling with the breeze

But you will never show me anything as beautiful

as the girl that loves me

You can play me great symphonies

I can listen to a whole rain forest sing

I can hear the most wonderful harmonies

You could remind me of the first time I heard The Beatles

But nothing will ever sound as sweet

As her voice and the words that it breathes

And when I look into her eyes I find a love that is more than just a chemical reaction causing my electrical pulses to jump out of my skull leaving me dumblosted, because the only thing I’ve found is that all I need is her eyes holding me tight keeping me afloat with her smile, while her laughter gets my ears dancing to the beat.

letters looking lucid

my body is as
resilient as a rough ranger
as sturdy as a steely strongman
as tough as ten turtles tangled in a trench
but the ficklest of flickers
could wipe me away
I'm as fragile as a frozen frenchman
as easily broken as a brittle banana
I am as weak as a wayward whale
life is stubborn, once it clasps its claws
it struggles til it's slowly swept aside
but the simplest of slips 
can cause a quick conclusion 
to this massive mess we start making the moment 
we arrive on this rude rock roaring for our retribution
unprepared for the pimples and the pain
that's brought about by our bold bargain for love
for now though I frankly fail to feel for any female
so single i shall stay to soar through these stuffed up puffs of 
condensation, clearly clouds couldn't keep me contained 
patching together these pieces of blue to perpetuate the blanketing 
and now I will never know how to navigate this into termination
so I will sloppilly slur some mind-sewage for you to savor 
though I think this thought has been threatened by 
bereavement since I began this bloated blog

title

Please Please look at me
I cut words into this page
To get attention

I hope that you know
I do not need your focus
I'll write regardless

Please don't look at me
Your eyes send me discomfort
I just want some peace

The peace will be here
Once I get all these thoughts out
A lot is built up

May be awhile
And a few ink stained pages
Before I hush up

So these words are here
If you want to read along
But don't expect much

Just my attempt at
Clear and concise sanity
This crazy's heavy

Need to put it down
Before it completely smothers
And my feet are sore

From carrying it
Everywhere I go, hidden
Beneath this small smile

My eyes tell the truth
But they aren't here to see me
Just here to show off

This makes it easy
To shroud all this dull content
I don't need your help

I'm perfectly fine
Just cuz I don't want to smile
Doesn't mean I'm sad

click?

You are here just in time to watch my mind sail away, lost to the wind, 
and it has only been to this port a few times, so there is no telling if it will find its way back
this ocean, it has its lows and highs
but I won't spend my life runnin from the tide
I will let the rising waves wash my feet
as this flood embraces me
I feel like everyone else has a solution, 
while I'm just roaming these waters trying to figure out the problem
if you have some words now is the time to speak up,
cuz this whole time your days have been counting down 
and now is the time to make something of this moment
your alarm will ring and this dream will abruptly end
the warning has been flashing all along
I've just been distracting you with this song
I would apologize but I think it is best to focus on this now
and this now contains these words
though, did you notice that now meld to this now?
some new words to fill up this space that seemed so empty
and some new space to till up this time that seemed so far away

My battle cry

I am not here to be perfect, but I’d hope you could reflect then
accept yourself and pretend that I’m worth your attention,
maybe then we could transcend all these sad ends
and prevent ourselves from missing the middle,
this present is only here for a little while,
and it will leave you behind if you sit ‘til it’s over
instead of grabbing the bitterness and spittin’ it back,
though don't forget to keep what you lack to protect you from the flak,
so that you don’t crack from all this pressure that’s been buildin’ up,
you just need to realize that it’s all the overthinking that has filled you up,
just chill for a millisecond and perhaps your stress will distill to nothing
'cept a nice big cup of milk and honey,
this life is easy when you find the right King
all these crowns on earth are beneath His feet
yet He still wore that crown of thorns for me
He still kneels down to make me clean
I praise you God for your consistency
no matter how many times I'm riskin' my health
You will always be by my side keeping me well
And when I'm strugglin' with humblin' and my pride swells
You are here to remind me who saved my from myself
I owe Him so much it's only right that I have become one of the twelve
I have written these words here to help me delve
into His deep love, and maybe you could come if you felt
like this was the right time for you to ask for His help
it would be nice to have a companion or two on this path
I'm gonna be going anyway, so I figured I'd at least ask
you don't have to watch our happiness from the other side of the glass
you can join in and share the laughter, this joy is impossible to copy
though many here on earth think they have the cream of the crop
the fun usual erupts into some sort of problem
I tell you that this eternal smile can not be recreated with something you drop
this happiness is better than any of your product
though, I speak like I am somehow above
my apologies, I know that I am just as stuck
lost in these forests of a shallow numb
but its a real high that through my blood pumps
this high that doesn't build in you a tolerance
rather builds with us, a grand entrance
and grows in Him a sadness from your absence
all He wanted was to bring you back home
but it's up to you if you would rather roam alone