happens word

Follow me as I dive down far beneath
any of you fools that always seem to think
that your all of your words are actually deep
I look up at you and the incline is fairly steep
I can tell that what you say is pretty cheap
All that your words do is put me half to sleep
The others like them, but they are just sheep
Doing their best to fit in and feel complete
Though I'd rather not just sit here blowin' off steam
I don't need to be crushing anyone's dreams
Mostly because tomorrow is nowhere near guaranteed
and if you let it, today can slow to a creep
for now, I have some words that will slowly seep
Deep within your mind I will plant this seed
I write these words for me, for you there is no fee
Cherish this all cuz few things in life are free
Now here it is, if you would carefully read:
He gave us salvation even though we proved unworthy
He loves you dearly, all you must do is semi-blindly believe
This world does its best to keep you from the dream
We can always see, but we don't always perceive
That through God there is nothing you can't achieve
Screw instant gratification, I would rather be happy for eternity
This smile's on my face even if you can't always see
Nothing can bring me down, knowing that He wants me
You might miss me a little but I really must leave
You see I am a bird, I'll go where I can live most comfortably
Which is usually in the shade underneath a willow tree
Where the leaves look like tears succumbing to gravity
Now on the final line, I will say to you please be filled with peace

titled

Holy is His presence
it fills me with such patience
makes me soar passed mountain ranges
this feeling is the strangest
From Him I get so much inspiration
I have to ink up all these pages
so that my mind doesn't go crazy
He sends me so many thoughts
the least I can do is jot
it down before it's lost
to the wind, I've got these two limbs
so I ought to praise Him
and how He bought my sin
and saw that it was La Fin
so that I could see that his light is never dim
and it's easy to spread
just need to show some kindness
maybe let some love refresh
the many that forget they are blessed
and intended for this great endeavor
into His open arms and far beyond
up there where they truly belong
chillin' outside the limits of a clock
but it's time to send this block of words down into an end that somehow concludes that which has no conclusion, this poem is done I hope you had fun, now I'm gonna hit publish perhaps you won't shun this and maybe you could even fall in love with all these dumb words but chances are humble to none

train tracks

I wonder why so many people like to talk to their mirror
They are talking to an inanimate object that has no ears
Or they are talking to themselves, which in public would be queer
When I'm looking at a mirror I'm brushing my teeth making them clear
I don't really have anything to say that I even slightly want to hear
So if I'm lookin at myself its barely even with a leer
Besides I'd rather move on with this day the 24th hour is fairly near
Perhaps though, I don't talk to my mirror cuz I'm busy talkin in here
I swear its not a diary I don't ever start out with a Dear,
Let's see what happens when I turn this book into my mirror:

Good job on waking up today, now fill your heart up with some cheer
I don't have much for you, but don't let it show to your peers
Keep that grin shinin no matter who is walkin by
Cuz you know that all they require is a simple smile
Shallow as a plastic kiddie pool, filled with a sand pile
The truth can set you free so they've been confined for quite a while
Within this sad cage full of lies and matching tile
They just worried about this next season's brand-new-old-ass style

If only they would notice this moment

and let it fill their mouths with smiles

It's really lame but so obvious that they are really in denial
That all they are looking for is the person to walk down the aisle
But the idea of marriage in the minds of this generation has been defiled
What used to be running a marathon is now like walking a quarter mile
You can get divorced as quick as you can pick up a phone and dial
All I know is that when I tell my kids about how I met my wife
I hope I can say that it wasn't something that happened overnight
I also hope I'm not talking to them while being supervised
Rather tell them while she is sittin next to me holdin me tight.


I get lost in my own words sometimes
So if I woke up and talked to my mirror I'd never get to school on time
And I'm sorry if you've been readin this, cuz its just a waste of time
I wonder how many more times I can try to rhyme time with time
You see each time is a new one, so there is no way to say that this time
Is exactly the same as this one, and all this time I've been trying to save up on time
I opened up a savings account, but my bank loaned out all my time
Now I am looking under my couch seats for some spare time
Cuz I spent my last minute to write this last line

uhm

I feel like a lot of people talk about God like he isn't present
But I promise you there has never been a day that He was absent
And He's got no plans to become a truant
So stop tryin to mark God as not here
Let it become more personal, we are sort of His career
His unconditional love is as present as that kid we all thought was weird
Can you not feel Him, sitting behind you reading as he strokes his beard?
He is even at my finger tips typing this message to you
Yes you, every single one of you, not just you, don't be a Jew
This love is for everyone, I know this to be true
I'd write more lines, but that's all I really knew
I know I am just as shallow as the next one but please don't sue
I don't really have much money, so I guess you could take my shoes
Now I am more than certain that this poem is through
But I don't like to call it a poem, I don't want to insult those who
Actually write something with more worth than a dented can of soup
I'm shooting, but I can't get it any where near that hoop
Practice makes perfect, but perfection won't be found within time's noose
Only in The Holy One, if you love with Him your time could become a loop
attached to another loop in this never ending sideways 8 that makes my brain feel like poop
If you can grasp infinity, then you are on the right path to understand the good news

like grasping sand

I haven't been hungry since you walked out my heart, but that's implying that you left it behind, it grabbed your ankles and you dragged it out with you, but it crawled back and sometimes I feel like slitting my wrists to let out all this extra blood that my heart has been pumping since you got it all worked up, but don't worry I won't be driven to the bottom of a rope, taking my life would not be a good punchline for this joke I've been livin, I don't want to be found lying next to a note, I would rather live a life worth a great toast, I hope when I finally pass that people will not be morose, they should only move on, that is what I want most. Now I'm just taking on these days one at a time I don't have the motivation to care about tomorrow yet, making plans is like trying to build a sand castle without any water
I don't see why you'd ever bother
There is someone out there for me but I guess it's not her
the way she's got me feeling I could easily rot here
I swear it was right, forever was so near
but now I don't know what to think when I look in a mirror
I could turn all this heartbreak into a career
I think of all the future lonely years and I get filled with fear
but it's easier to bear with when I have God above
watchin' out for me and holdin me snug
He is easy to follow if you see He is just spreadin the love
and of his love and presence I just can't get enough
When I've got the Lord on my side I feel a lot more tough
Even when I'm walkin alone I'm still walkin with Jesus

tangents and cosines

How easy it seemed to undress her
I guess I actually impressed her
She had been taught her whole life she was less than dirt
And when I told her the truth, that her beauty was the best, she turned
Negative because she could never look in that mirror without finding
something to detest first
She thinks I just said these things in jest to flirt
But this was never about the contest, or just to take off her shirt
I found a beauty that doesn't just outshine the rest
It fills the world around it with meaning and worth
And all we did was create a playful mess
But I never could have imagined how much that mess hurt
You don't know what you got 'til it's kissing you goodbye
And I hugged her tight so she wouldn't see me cry
Been a long time since a tear has dropped from my eye
Though she can't know she hurt me, so my eyes I quickly wipe
Just got to be that resilient guy
The one you will see full of laughter and smiles
And it's always the same look of surprise
When they find out that I'm unbelievably shy

ascending-meter

Once
I jumped
Off this ledge
The clouds stood still
I fell quite slowly
Into the yellow sun
So full of blinding colors
I looked back to where my home was
To avoid the painful burning waves
And I saw a sight way too hard to bare
The world looking back at me with so much cheer
While getting closer with every little moment
Each tiny speck of dirt becoming way too clear
I finally felt what it feels like when death draws near
A feeling I could spend a thousand lifetimes avoiding
But it only takes a single lifetime to mess this all up
Hell it only takes a puny second to ruin all of this
So spend each minute like it's the best sixty lifetimes you ever lived
And please don't forget to leave the rest of us with a smile in our minds
Because this world can get rough, and we need each other to smooth it out nice
If you would be my sandpaper then we can see where the rest of this takes us
Just please don't leave me hanging, cuz this rope will eventually rub my neck raw
This world's askew tilt knocked over the chair, now my toes are barely scratching up the floor
I will now leave this world just as I arrived; kicking and grasping for some form of comfort,
For twenty-three syllables I'll say; supercalifragilistiqexbialidotious
I guess that signifies the end of this attempt at a new format, now it is your turn to try
I'll write twenty-five syllables to tell you that none of this is hard, it's all inside your worried mind

A big haiuku full of haiukus 5 - 7 - 5

Headaches and heartbreak                    My eyes don't see the same                     Slowly yet surely               
Just part of these withdrawals              Since your eyes don't come around          They will scatter with the wind    
From making you smile                       To feed and water                                     Finally they're free           
                                       

From this pain I hold                                 But the sun rises
With white knuckles, grasping for              And darkness is swept away
Whatever we had                                      As will this feeling                                                                

--

                                       

A new day to stop                            For each beginning                And more shall come to        A leaky faucet
The sun from collapsing down          A beautiful end follows           Gradually fill this life            Keeping us from staying dry
But only in vain                               To make room for more          One day at a time                Filling to the brim


Half empty or full                          Of this barrel that                        I'm still pondering                  
Just be happy that you aren't          Holds so much of this for us        I don't expect an answer
Scraping the bottom                      Whatever this is                          But I'll keep searching


--

                                  

This journey we take               You can enjoy it                    And the meaning is                       Could keep your eyes closed,
Whether willing or coerced       Or you can drag your feet      Playing hide and seek with you       Wait for this game's finale
To find the finish                     Regardless, you're here         So best stop counting,                   Or open this book            


Start writing your piece  
And appreciate this place
With your eyes glued wide

Post title

When I give you my heart I know that I'm never getting it back. You can either keep it forever or throw it in the trash, cuz it won't fit the same after you squeezed it tight, I keep a small piece for myself each time so that I won't lose the whole thing rotting in a landfill, I've only got a sliver left so be gentle and don't be surprised when it cracks.
I send my love out for you to collect it
and fuck any of those  who don't accept it
cuz it was especially for them, they need it more than they recognize
this world is pretty shitty like septic
and I know I'm not sittin here bein skeptic
People walk around focusin on shiny necklaces
thinking of all the things they could be eatin for breakfast
am I the only one here that questions this?
I mean there are people that would eat from my wastebasket
and we just waste away as we are chasin that casket
Doing no harm, but doing no good, makes me want to wear a mask it
fills me with shame to be a part of this helplessly hopeless generation
someone just got murdered right now and all we can worry about is inflation
I include myself because all I am doing is saying worthless words that cause no salvation
Filling up my cup instead of pouring it out for the rest, I am surely walking towards damnation
I'll just stop typing so that I can salvage some favor with God and prevent my extermination

I don't really know man

I have a couple words for you, but you have to promise to keep them safe, they really are quite fragile and if you don't take care of them they could easily fall apart. So please don't take these letters for granted because they aren't taking your mind for granted and I'm sure that if you let them be themselves you would get along with them quite well:
We call them all trees but each one has its own thang going on, its own groove, its motion to keep up with this earth that can't sit still, its own sway to stay with this ever-melding life.
So long Wednesday, your treacherous fourteen hundred forty minutes have finally passed, but they will be back, week after week, month after month, year after year. We have turned this forward motion into something that we can fit into our minds, but I don't like to give this 360 degree spin and the full rotation of the next "Wednesday" the same name, every day is amazingly new, I fail to see how we could call them the same thing, each day holds new experiences, a new space in this universe, new light waves washing up from our yellow beach ball that we got stuck in the rafters, that was a wild night, I think it was a Thursday, but it is just about to be Thursday and I'm not feelin' too wild. So I say forget your frivolous attempts to put a pattern over this world, the entropic breakdown of every moment is not something you can track but merely observe and appreciate, so no it is not Wednesday, it is a point in space in which I wasted my time writing this blurb. I am done going along with the way things are, just because some atoms happened to form into this person that decided to live life with 7 days to a week we lock these rotations around our axis into the prison cell of a title. I say nay to your traditions, you can not bring yesterday's routine into today for today is a new variable that they didn't even know about yesterday.

I did write it though

I did not write this to get a page view
I did not write this to get a +1 from you
I did not write this for the money
I did not write this just to be funny
I sort of wrote this just to write this
I sort of wrote this to find my bliss
I did not write this because I need attention
I sort of wrote this cuz i could never pay attention
I sort of wrote this cuz the withdrawals make me
Every minute away from a pen and paper forsake me
I wrote this because I don't know how to speak this
I sort of wrote this because I wanted to see it
Written out in lines, arranged for my convenience
I sort of wrote this because I'm getting proud of my two cents
I really wrote this because I don't want to go out there
Rather sit in my room keeping these white pages from being bare
I never really work well with society
I'm always stuck inside of me
My mind can go on for days
Entertaining itself, maybe I'm crazy
But at least I can accept this insanity
Most deny and perpetuate their vanity
I know that I'll never be a very good writer
But I did not write this to impress you
I merely wrote this because I had a pen in my hand
I made it rhyme because my mind keeps finding these words
But I don't need to rhyme to get this fix from these little blurbs
Scratching this ink into this paper to calm the urges
An addiction that I can't go to a group for
I guess I'll just write some more

not good at putting titles to things

Time to finally let this out
because I'm tired of holding it in
and I know the world can
take it better than I can, it has
been spinning a lot longer than I
can even comprehend and no matter
what hits it this world will keep
going, so I let the world feel
the weight of my feet, I don't
let  the world's weight rest on me,
because I'm not here to keep
it spinning, I'm a walking probability,
I'm just an equation
gone horribly wrong and now I'm
gonna watch the numbers
try to balance each other

Will this mean anything
once we all get burnt
out?

The world is doin its
best to spin us off and
the universe is doin its
best to squish us while
we are doin our best
to be the best,
even if it means killing as
many of us as possible to
keep our names highlighted in the
history books, so I will never stop
thanking God for waking up, cuz it seems
that there is a lot more out
there trying to stop me from
livin this life than there are particles
of oxygen being sucked into my lungs
it's me against numbers I never
learned how to count to and
I'm still going to bet on myself
because I need all the confidence I
can get
  all I know is that you
can't spell life without at least
one lie so I'm going to live
this truth to the fullest and hope
to God that when this world evicts
me, I still have a place to crash
tonight

my pen slipped

I'm going to eject this thought out into the air where it meets your silent stare, to get processed underneath your hair, your opinion you might share, I just hope you took the time to care, and aren't speaking just so that this moment wasn't bare: 
I'm on the outside looking outwards as these thoughts invade the space I reserved for this page and now as you read your mind is opening the door to this crazy that I'm laying out in nice little rows.  This night time can get heavy, sometimes all I need is a candle to lighten it up, so I'm burning this wick, watching time drip down the sides frozen in the moment. I think I prefer these moments of frozen silence by myself, undone by the golden sun, that wakes up these noisy lumps of carbon, shake me from my dreams when the moon isn't outshone by that big ball of burning bright and the stars finally get to shine so I can spend all night putting this silence back together, though, just as the setting sun brings a sunrise, this silence will be broken, a cycle I have grown addicted to. Just more words I will never say out loud, so many cross through this processor someone put in my head, but so few thoughts get processed into a language so many understand, stuck floating, intangible as this next thing I won't write 

p.s.

I did quite the job at messing this up bad

I’ve got no chance of getting her back

Now all I can think of is all the times she made me glad

If I could take her smile I’d keep it in a bag

Too take out and stare at when life was being a drag

And I’m the only one to blame for being this sad

I failed and threw our love into the trash

I never realized what a wonderful girl I had

And now all I can do is sing about being a bastard

Cuz I took our happiness and sent it down some rapids

Battered and bruised, alone here I stand

I lost her in the fray, we didn’t stick to the plan

Maybe if I had used something more permanent than crayons

I could be writing about a completely different past

But this life doesn’t give you many chances

So I take what I get and rejoice at the advances

Even if sometimes it knocks me on my pants

Just got to let it out in one of these rants

And keep happy no matter the circumstances

Hoping that my smile doesn’t die and turn to ashes

Like the last of a stoner’s stash

Or a chronic gambler’s cash

Rather I’d like to make my cheeks splash

As my lips dive up into a delicious laugh

May as well focus on the present until it passes

There it goes did you see it ooze by like molasses?

Collecting dust as into the past it is added

Or did it zoom by, leaving way too fast?

Avoiding today as into yesterday it dashes

I try to keep time slow so I can appreciate each little patch

Letting it speed up makes each moment harder to catch

So I lower the tempo by lounging in some grass

Instead of using blinkers as metronomes as my car burns gas

Burning these seconds into minutes as I’m backed up in traffic

And burning these nights into weeks as I’m back to that flask

As these weeks burn to months I feel more and more plastic

Faking this social to keep them from asking

So many questions that have no chance of grasping

Any real answer from my stupid ass mouth that’s flapping

My mind is like cupped hands trying to hold on to water

the water is the thoughts slipping through the cracks,

dripping onto this page as if my hands weren't even

there to stop any of this

And there it goes, did you catch it?

My thoughts just jumped into your mind, it was pretty

fast, but they went through your eyes so you must

have seen it, well maybe my next couple words

will make it more lucid, like anyone's mind yours

is able to be bent, like right now I am making you

say this in your head, well you have a choice, but

I am influencing your decision by putting this all in

front of you, so all I would like to say now is that

you forgot to use your own words to read this,

maybe if you would, this could all be complete

Light at the beginning of the tunnel

If you would like to hear some lyrics that come from my career of battlin my mirror, I'm sorry I would rather drink some beer, uhm I mean liquor give me that clear stuff fill up my peer's cup so we can drink til the nearest sun comes up for us to feel its endearing love. This will be a year unlike the rest, I won't say it's gonna be the best cuz this isn't a contest and I can't predict the years left, but I can reject all the bullshit you try to inject into this 365 day project I started with zest and I will protect it from your infestation. The game started but I didn't place a bet, so the outcome is not an object on which I will spend my attention, so let's just forget for a second that our date is set and collect all these moments, put them in my pocket and save them for a rainy day, when we can't go outside to play and the wrinkles hide your face, we will be so close to finishing this race, but I like to think of it as a lazy stroll, I am not running towards being old, until then I'll just be absorbin' this tired as I watch these nights crawl by, flippin' pennies to spread some luck, stackin' quarters to see if I have enough, this belly is a rumblin' and I ain't got paid in months, this smile is on my face and it's not a bluff, I know my life isn't even that tough, at least I got atmosphere fillin' up my lungs, while I got some Atmosphere bouncin' off my ear drums, could never get enough of that man we call Slug.

abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

I feel like everyone is always trying to sound deep and wise by defining love. And I know I’m just trying to sound deeper and wiser, but I don’t think words are enough to describe this feeling, this undefinable connection cannot be written within a single poem or song, nor can it be measured by mere actions, it is only something to be felt in the moment between your eyes where they meet in the middle to explode into far beyond this warm sloppy joy, a comfort that lets you unload your mess. Now don’t let me fool you, I haven’t the slightest clue what love is at its truest, I just know that since I cannot define the love I experience there is no way that anyone else could describe it for me.

You can show me all of the lakes and streams

All of the mountain ranges full of trees

All of the sunsets falling with such ease

Even all of the moonlit oceans rippling with the breeze

But you will never show me anything as beautiful

as the girl that loves me

You can play me great symphonies

I can listen to a whole rain forest sing

I can hear the most wonderful harmonies

You could remind me of the first time I heard The Beatles

But nothing will ever sound as sweet

As her voice and the words that it breathes

And when I look into her eyes I find a love that is more than just a chemical reaction causing my electrical pulses to jump out of my skull leaving me dumblosted, because the only thing I’ve found is that all I need is her eyes holding me tight keeping me afloat with her smile, while her laughter gets my ears dancing to the beat.

letters looking lucid

my body is as
resilient as a rough ranger
as sturdy as a steely strongman
as tough as ten turtles tangled in a trench
but the ficklest of flickers
could wipe me away
I'm as fragile as a frozen frenchman
as easily broken as a brittle banana
I am as weak as a wayward whale
life is stubborn, once it clasps its claws
it struggles til it's slowly swept aside
but the simplest of slips 
can cause a quick conclusion 
to this massive mess we start making the moment 
we arrive on this rude rock roaring for our retribution
unprepared for the pimples and the pain
that's brought about by our bold bargain for love
for now though I frankly fail to feel for any female
so single i shall stay to soar through these stuffed up puffs of 
condensation, clearly clouds couldn't keep me contained 
patching together these pieces of blue to perpetuate the blanketing 
and now I will never know how to navigate this into termination
so I will sloppilly slur some mind-sewage for you to savor 
though I think this thought has been threatened by 
bereavement since I began this bloated blog

title

Please Please look at me
I cut words into this page
To get attention

I hope that you know
I do not need your focus
I'll write regardless

Please don't look at me
Your eyes send me discomfort
I just want some peace

The peace will be here
Once I get all these thoughts out
A lot is built up

May be awhile
And a few ink stained pages
Before I hush up

So these words are here
If you want to read along
But don't expect much

Just my attempt at
Clear and concise sanity
This crazy's heavy

Need to put it down
Before it completely smothers
And my feet are sore

From carrying it
Everywhere I go, hidden
Beneath this small smile

My eyes tell the truth
But they aren't here to see me
Just here to show off

This makes it easy
To shroud all this dull content
I don't need your help

I'm perfectly fine
Just cuz I don't want to smile
Doesn't mean I'm sad

click?

You are here just in time to watch my mind sail away, lost to the wind, 
and it has only been to this port a few times, so there is no telling if it will find its way back
this ocean, it has its lows and highs
but I won't spend my life runnin from the tide
I will let the rising waves wash my feet
as this flood embraces me
I feel like everyone else has a solution, 
while I'm just roaming these waters trying to figure out the problem
if you have some words now is the time to speak up,
cuz this whole time your days have been counting down 
and now is the time to make something of this moment
your alarm will ring and this dream will abruptly end
the warning has been flashing all along
I've just been distracting you with this song
I would apologize but I think it is best to focus on this now
and this now contains these words
though, did you notice that now meld to this now?
some new words to fill up this space that seemed so empty
and some new space to till up this time that seemed so far away

My battle cry

I am not here to be perfect, but I’d hope you could reflect then
accept yourself and pretend that I’m worth your attention,
maybe then we could transcend all these sad ends
and prevent ourselves from missing the middle,
this present is only here for a little while,
and it will leave you behind if you sit ‘til it’s over
instead of grabbing the bitterness and spittin’ it back,
though don't forget to keep what you lack to protect you from the flak,
so that you don’t crack from all this pressure that’s been buildin’ up,
you just need to realize that it’s all the overthinking that has filled you up,
just chill for a millisecond and perhaps your stress will distill to nothing
'cept a nice big cup of milk and honey,
this life is easy when you find the right King
all these crowns on earth are beneath His feet
yet He still wore that crown of thorns for me
He still kneels down to make me clean
I praise you God for your consistency
no matter how many times I'm riskin' my health
You will always be by my side keeping me well
And when I'm strugglin' with humblin' and my pride swells
You are here to remind me who saved my from myself
I owe Him so much it's only right that I have become one of the twelve
I have written these words here to help me delve
into His deep love, and maybe you could come if you felt
like this was the right time for you to ask for His help
it would be nice to have a companion or two on this path
I'm gonna be going anyway, so I figured I'd at least ask
you don't have to watch our happiness from the other side of the glass
you can join in and share the laughter, this joy is impossible to copy
though many here on earth think they have the cream of the crop
the fun usual erupts into some sort of problem
I tell you that this eternal smile can not be recreated with something you drop
this happiness is better than any of your product
though, I speak like I am somehow above
my apologies, I know that I am just as stuck
lost in these forests of a shallow numb
but its a real high that through my blood pumps
this high that doesn't build in you a tolerance
rather builds with us, a grand entrance
and grows in Him a sadness from your absence
all He wanted was to bring you back home
but it's up to you if you would rather roam alone