loohcs ta yadoT

Today at school I saw a man fold into a chair
right before my lies fibbed about the weather
it was like he never read the instruction manual
it was like he thought clouds always meant rain
but sometimes they're here just to give some shade
and sometimes it is better to endure the pain
cuz even when the days fade away
your life still manages to stay awake
and even when blue skies fade to grey
light still manages to find its way into our brain

today at school I saw a boy fold into the puddle I was staring into
trying to avoid any spare eye contact left in the lost and found
cuz I've found that losing doesn't always mean loss
it is interesting the things you can find
when we carry on without the things we think we need

but I'm too scared to look
I don't know what I need, because I don't know what I need
and I don't remember what I want
because
I'm too worried about what I lost
too worried about what I could lose if I chose to pursue
rather I just sit and stare at small pools reflecting lives that forget to reflect back

today at school I saw myself ripple into the last drops of rain the sky could sqeeze
right before my eyes became the puddle's best attempt at identity
like it never learned how to look at itself
like it never thought the clouds would run out

open

Watch
      as the sun tucks away the stars
      as the blue skies push through the fog
      as the mist we breathe abandons ship

Listen
      as the roosters remind the church bells to ring
      as the nighttime fun fades to daytime troubles
      as the dreamers break the tension between

Whisper
      to the dew as it hugs tight to the lawn
      to the light when it finds its dawn
      to your mirror before you yawn

Catch
    the stale air your lungs throw out
    the fallen stars that your sky shot down
    the lies at the end of your corridor

Embrace
      the thoughts you leave in the back of your mind
      the moon after it takes the tide
      the day before it fades and dies

I was

Sittin’ in this walk way
trying to decide
what I can say to you
that might make it through
the line in the sand we drew
so I sat back started tossin’ pebbles at the doorway
I guess it’s just a wall to you
I don’t think you have all the truth
but you actin like I got caught in a noose
invisible or 6 feet under, makes no difference to you
I’ll just pass the time counting seconds by the minutes
holdin’ on to this storm you left in my bones
I thought I was it all to you
perhaps I'm just a ball to you
a playtoy
a dance
a great time
no matter how you take it
I know you won't give it back
so just take it and leave me at this beach 
counting on the waves to bring back
the response to my message in a bottle

three who won

four four two
ten ten
twenty twenty
forty thirty
seventy fifty
one hundred twenty
times three is the only number you'll see
full circle infinitely
every ending followed by a beginning
it's so complete
I am compelled to sing
about this cycle in this sea
of emptiness filled with some heat
emanating from the far reaches
distances I barely perceive
this blanket of blue quietly covering
the cold dark expanse in which we're trespassing
slowly floating along cuz we're enchanted
with the shiny lights comin from the black expanses
traipsin through
radiating hues
of the essence you
spend all your blessins too
treasure and collect
instead of remembering the one who
blessed like three

I'm gonna find myself a field full of puddles

Sometimes it's more comfy on the ground
gravity can win this round
I'm gonna stay down and listen
for the pound of the Earth's heartbeat advance and retreat
while the sound of silence secretly secretes signals of
salutations and slow suicide
swimming through the shallow end
solving sadness with separation and sugar pills
swallow, just swallow this spoonful before the sunset
shows the stars
staring statically
soaring savagely through the spaces that are
stuck existing sitting on a sticky bench
sniffing at the light's stench passing by in waves
roaming towards our windy beach
to crash upon our sky's shores
seeping down to slip passed my peepers
to steal my mind
make it feel the night
and appreciate this meal for my sight
but I'm dealin just fine
with the sun and it's shine
I'd rather return to the real light
but I'm locked up inside a cheap life
that seems so great for only a brief time
til the clouds bring my attention back to these lines
so please pay my ransom with a sunrise
I'm frightened that my mind might freeze in the cold light
I wished upon a twinklin star but that little ball has fallen
to remind me that dreams are for sleeping
   and to get back to the real thing
   just sit down and let the dealer deal kid
   play your hand but don't gamble your meals kid
   slow your role and stay where you belong kid..
though I long to believe in
a what if, when I know where I'm going, I'll know why I am who I was
because I didn't know who I was, when I was who I am
I guess I am Sam but all I really know is that

falling stars were just shootin for the moon
and
sometimes I ask myself
if the reward is worthless without the risk
should I just start workin and miss the show
exit stage left
leave the thinking to the rest
of the artists trying to get
your attention
quietly rioting from the sidelines

or should I put work in
to try and keep the curtains from closin
with my prose, folded into rolled up newspaper clippings
the shredded guts of an old gold, that's new use is to catch birdcage drippings
worth is worse than the wind
switching direction like a first grader skipping through a field full of puddles
I'm gonna go find myself a field full of puddles

fruugendeepewter pewpew

it seems a little sad but
I am a little glad that
the pain went and happened
my heart may be in fractions
but now that it has shattered
I know that it's not plastic
and now I am passed it
I found the broken scraps and
put them back with some bubble gum and grass stained band aids

anything that didn't fit I packed and burnt to ashes
turned my dreams into action
got a pen and grabbed some
sheets of tree to practice
capturing the force of a disaster
to try and
Bend it to a masterpiece
weaving down the page
a raging avalanche
destroying all that is in its path
leaving no tree behind untouched
my
inky fingers rifling through
searching for the last patch of white
to smother with these lines I write
keeping me up all night, I might just like to bribe my mind to stop fighting the light and maybe try to find some peace in between some sheets that don't need my ink, just me, sleeping with the ceiling fan keeping watch til the sun brings back the heat to teach me how to reach an end for this thing

times

I say I am christian
but
I really just wish I was christian
to be christian is to be christ-like
and I'm as close to Christ as a boulder is close
to a cloud floating in the sky deciding
to cry for me and my hard-headed attempt
to stay on the ground
I am just an asshole trying to sit here
and stack some flat-lining words
dying to fall through to the next line
while I'm passin on any chances that come my way
I won't be an asset, I'm at least an ametuer crafter
draftin my trash, turn it into the average
bat shit crazed ballad
words dancing across the back of your beat
relax and take a seat
while I invade your brain and give you a treat
no trick, just peace
and I hope I can leave a bit of love in between
each tick of your pulse pushing life into the next
tock of the clock that stopped so long ago
we forgot we were lost