I

thought I knew who I was
I don't even know who I am
I mean, I know my name is Sam
but I don't have a plan to handle that which is advancing
the future is a cancer calling quietly but I don't answer
I didn't even know that I was trapped
until I realized that I am drowning in the past
clowning through the fast lane
trying to find a laugh to stain your face with
or send a gasp of happiness to gain its way into your brain
I never know what I'm saying until its happening
the present attacking to keep me from capturing the action
trying to attach it and loop it on this track that I fractured
and put near the back of my attic
so I can escape and listen to the unmanufactured silence
battered and bruised, black and blue
in fact its true my lack of new imagined hues is sad
but few of my tragic views are magic
you have to use your own damn ingenuity
to grasp what I've chewed and cast
into this cracking rune, skipping to my blasted erratic tune
entranced by the beat of my plastic spoons
click clacking at the moon
from within this tube I use to smear
my ink across the cracks in the room
doing my best to cover up the holes that got left behind
when we ran away into the sunset
but now the sun has set
and my eyes aren't wet
cuz I let these lines cry for me
while I get my mind fried by these forties
trying to forget all the fine times
oh poor me
I don't need a support team
just a pen and a score sheet
so I can keep my words moving forward away from defeat
I don't need an award just an empty page to keep from being clean