15 minutes later

part of me wishes
I had never worked up the nerve
and told you what you heard on that curb
but the rest of me wishes
I hadn't flattened our chances
of being entranced in this dance
inside the cell of us
prancing
like no one could tell our hearts to stop attaching
now I'm just scratching at this scab that built over
where I stabbed myself when I took the sparkle in your eye
and cracked it, now it's shattered
splattered all across the asphalt
it's my bad though
I get lost inside my head like I'm up in Saturn's rings
it's my pattern, thinking in circles
and I'm flattered
that you liked me, but sorry I don't like me
I put my foot in my mouth so often
everything tastes like socks
I'm so damn obnoxious
my voice is toxic
my words make me nauseous
it never stops, just a leaky faucet
I drown in these thoughts that I'm awesome
but luckily reality always comes knockin
and I'll never get over you
but I understand you have to keep me in your past
I'm an ass, I am trash
I'm abashed, I am sorry we didn't last
so much more than just that first day was magic
I guess I got caught up in our separate plans