hoops waving from the loops

I don't like to call them bad times
just times that make the good times better
times that finally test ya
wake you up from the easy restin
and make you work through the present
to find another future hiding in the foggy dark
silent as the nighttime at midday
just waiting
waiting for it's turn
quite patiently
it will get here
but you may not make it there
so appreciate where you're at
before you lose your chance
in this game of chances
I feel lucky to be standing
cuz sooner or later math is going to set the record straight
and even the odds out of the bunch

just another random group of atoms
floating along with this planet
but somehow I feel trapped
in this ability to track it
consciousness, it seems like shackles
reminding me of the big fractions
that say I shouldn't be
I am just an accident
I am a walking probability
With a whole bunch of insecurities
before they get passed security
to streak across the page
I'll stop maintaining the stage
and stop writing right here

prosaic

words were sittin
on the tip
of this pit
forming below my lips
but they slipped
to fall back down,
drip dripping along the sides
slowly fillin up this pen I grip
where at least they fit
chip chipping away at this prison
dipping into the freedom of the
next line
fresh line
my best line
is always the hollow one
when all the mess
finally rests
below in emptiness
that is so full of potential
once kinetic I'll surely spoil it
it's what could be said
that is the treasure chest
now
I don't remember when I lost the map,
though, good riddance
for I find the most beauty in the blank silence
waiting in the distant night

don't feed the wildlife

What you hear from me
is most likely nothing more
than the basic instinct to get along
If you are to ever find yourself
you have to lose yourself first
and all these are just the result
of a small idea pestering at the door
to be let out onto this playground
the words are here to play
so please don't disturb them

salutations

Most of what I write
has just been an attempt
to say something clever enough
to make you fall for me
but sooner or later I hope I realize
I'll never find those words
I can't push you off this cliff
you have to fall on your own
and I've been trippin over the edge all along
tryin to catch your feet on my way down
and even when I climb back up
I get lost in you and lose my footing
such a sick circle
like I'm addicted to the lurch in my stomach and the pain
when I know I'm the only one cut open and bleeding
now I don't know what love is,
but I know that your eyes unzip
the jacket round my heart
getting all warm and fuzzy
finally breaking free from the winter
coming in to sit down in this comfy conversation you offer

go

Do you see what I see?
Do you feel what I feel?
Do you hear what I am?
stuck inside these lines
Do you need what I have?
can you be what I need?
Do you want what I've been
sinking through these pages
falling quite quickly through
what I thought was a pit
with no bottom
but we all have a breaking point
a button to push
to release that parachute
to prevent the landing from hurting so much

out loud

I breathe deep
cuz what  I have to say is rather weak
and your focus
it chokes me
I need some relief so
I breathe deep
til my feeble lungs are at capacity
of this life
we make into tragedy
when we could be livin happily
only your attitude can keep that from happening
so kick out that frown that's trappin you

  for those of you that just kicked
and the frown kicked back
    harder
I'm sorry
I was just tryin to light a spark
make my mark upon your heart
and I wanted to tell you
that you aren't the only rusty nail holdin this house up
you aren't the only patch of grass that forgot it was spring
flowers would just make this winter worse
cuz sometimes seeing happy hurts
but sometimes smiling anyways can change it
and usually prescribing smiles is more about the business
than a helping hand
just a fist stuffing numb down
til you're filled to the brim
standin on your tip toes
cuz you can't lift your chin to breathe before
the tide comes
to see you drown
between these days
you perceive as separate

the separation is imagination
for
I am you and you are me
we are each other eternally
stuck in this yin yang
this big bang in this
small world
full of loops and swirls
and waves
these waves
crashing upon drums
your drums

my wearisome lyrics
that come from years of battlin my mirror are carried to
your drums
by
these waves
that take these words from me
battered and bruised alone here I stand
and I stand
to breathe deep
cuz no one else will do it for me

15 minutes later

part of me wishes
I had never worked up the nerve
and told you what you heard on that curb
but the rest of me wishes
I hadn't flattened our chances
of being entranced in this dance
inside the cell of us
prancing
like no one could tell our hearts to stop attaching
now I'm just scratching at this scab that built over
where I stabbed myself when I took the sparkle in your eye
and cracked it, now it's shattered
splattered all across the asphalt
it's my bad though
I get lost inside my head like I'm up in Saturn's rings
it's my pattern, thinking in circles
and I'm flattered
that you liked me, but sorry I don't like me
I put my foot in my mouth so often
everything tastes like socks
I'm so damn obnoxious
my voice is toxic
my words make me nauseous
it never stops, just a leaky faucet
I drown in these thoughts that I'm awesome
but luckily reality always comes knockin
and I'll never get over you
but I understand you have to keep me in your past
I'm an ass, I am trash
I'm abashed, I am sorry we didn't last
so much more than just that first day was magic
I guess I got caught up in our separate plans